Last Days
Welcome to Las Vegas!
The famous sign beckoned me these past two weeks as I drove to and back from the Strip (on those days when I wasn't painfully busy with watching television and enjoying air conditioning at home) on various little errands. But I stayed away from the casinos save for the Bellagio buffet I took Mom-Hu to on a random Wednesday night, and hence the money stayed in pocket. But I knew that before I left for Shanghai, I would not be able to resist the call from all the lights. They are meant to hypnotize people, after all.
Thus, I was looking forward to the arrival of Jim and Hyunjin, childhood buddies who kindly drove all the way from Claremont to Vegas to visit me and have one last gorge on American decadence before I head over to the Motherland. For those of you who aren't familiar with the Jim/Hyunjin combination, an apt description would be a two-headed, nipple-pinching, cost conscious and sexually ambiguous beast of a duo that I welcome at all times with very open arms. We hit Las Vegas in the only way that this classic triumverate of mischief could: $5.99 steak dinners, masquerading as high-rollers to get the free chocolate-covered strawberries at the Bellagio VIP lounge, and grinding-to-a-halt gambling sessions at $5 pai-gow poker tables at the Gold Coast (yes ladies and gents, the Gold Coast). Such exploits were a far cry from being spoiled by Spencer's oft-comped blackjack/strip club addiction, of which I must sheepishly admit I have been a beneficiary. However, what I learned is that Las Vegas is candy-coated experience that comes in many shades of colors. Hey, at least I wasn't staying at the San Remo.
Observations from the weekend:
1) One must master the art (yes, it IS an art) of the all-you-can-eat. First, there must be no drinking of anything carbonated. Minimal water consumption; sake is OK. Second, the stomach must be appropriately prepped before the big event. For example, if you are scheduled to buffet at night, it would be wise to eat as much salad as possible for brunch, just to widen the stomach without too much satiation. Third, there is the much neglected step of getting up and walking around a few times during the meal. I call this "doing the vulture." Humans can only burn so many calories from shoving food into their mouths; it's important to get up and remind your body of how it feels to NOT be eating, so when you sit back down it has the faith that it can eat some more. And finally, competition is critical. Whether you are trying to surpass your own personal benchmark, eating with your friends, or even sitting down at a stranger's table and issuing a challenge, it is essential that we have a force that pushes us forward, that instills faith that we can overcome. Kids, write this stuff down, you'll thank me for it later.
2) The water show at the Bellagio really makes me want to go pee. Badly.
3) Cocktails are only free if you win. If you don't, each Jack and Coke costs about $50-$100 bucks.
4) Las Vegas is the best when you drive in at sunset and drive back at sunrise.
5) It took two weeks of living here before I began cursing out-of-state drivers and making fun of all the teeming tourists.
6) You're either a baller or you're not. Chances are, if you're at the Barbary Coast waiting in line for the $5.99 steak and eggs dinner, you're probably not a baller, no matter how nice you smell.
I'm flying into Shanghai on Tuesday morning (9/23), and should be getting there on Wednesday night. I'll be going with a pocketful of dreams...and a suitcase full of toiletries. All you Chinese people, watch out!
-Eric-
The famous sign beckoned me these past two weeks as I drove to and back from the Strip (on those days when I wasn't painfully busy with watching television and enjoying air conditioning at home) on various little errands. But I stayed away from the casinos save for the Bellagio buffet I took Mom-Hu to on a random Wednesday night, and hence the money stayed in pocket. But I knew that before I left for Shanghai, I would not be able to resist the call from all the lights. They are meant to hypnotize people, after all.
Thus, I was looking forward to the arrival of Jim and Hyunjin, childhood buddies who kindly drove all the way from Claremont to Vegas to visit me and have one last gorge on American decadence before I head over to the Motherland. For those of you who aren't familiar with the Jim/Hyunjin combination, an apt description would be a two-headed, nipple-pinching, cost conscious and sexually ambiguous beast of a duo that I welcome at all times with very open arms. We hit Las Vegas in the only way that this classic triumverate of mischief could: $5.99 steak dinners, masquerading as high-rollers to get the free chocolate-covered strawberries at the Bellagio VIP lounge, and grinding-to-a-halt gambling sessions at $5 pai-gow poker tables at the Gold Coast (yes ladies and gents, the Gold Coast). Such exploits were a far cry from being spoiled by Spencer's oft-comped blackjack/strip club addiction, of which I must sheepishly admit I have been a beneficiary. However, what I learned is that Las Vegas is candy-coated experience that comes in many shades of colors. Hey, at least I wasn't staying at the San Remo.
Observations from the weekend:
1) One must master the art (yes, it IS an art) of the all-you-can-eat. First, there must be no drinking of anything carbonated. Minimal water consumption; sake is OK. Second, the stomach must be appropriately prepped before the big event. For example, if you are scheduled to buffet at night, it would be wise to eat as much salad as possible for brunch, just to widen the stomach without too much satiation. Third, there is the much neglected step of getting up and walking around a few times during the meal. I call this "doing the vulture." Humans can only burn so many calories from shoving food into their mouths; it's important to get up and remind your body of how it feels to NOT be eating, so when you sit back down it has the faith that it can eat some more. And finally, competition is critical. Whether you are trying to surpass your own personal benchmark, eating with your friends, or even sitting down at a stranger's table and issuing a challenge, it is essential that we have a force that pushes us forward, that instills faith that we can overcome. Kids, write this stuff down, you'll thank me for it later.
2) The water show at the Bellagio really makes me want to go pee. Badly.
3) Cocktails are only free if you win. If you don't, each Jack and Coke costs about $50-$100 bucks.
4) Las Vegas is the best when you drive in at sunset and drive back at sunrise.
5) It took two weeks of living here before I began cursing out-of-state drivers and making fun of all the teeming tourists.
6) You're either a baller or you're not. Chances are, if you're at the Barbary Coast waiting in line for the $5.99 steak and eggs dinner, you're probably not a baller, no matter how nice you smell.
I'm flying into Shanghai on Tuesday morning (9/23), and should be getting there on Wednesday night. I'll be going with a pocketful of dreams...and a suitcase full of toiletries. All you Chinese people, watch out!
-Eric-
posted by sushipanda at 8:14 AM
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